Rap War

A young man sits at a bar, watching a local singer. He is holding a guitar case, anxious to follow the singer, but clearly enjoying the music. The singer finishes and the young man goes onstage. His set unfolds amateurish but showing great promise. His stage banter is a little too modest, apologizing for his performance when the audience is clearly satisfied. He finishes and leaves the stage where a friend approaches and congratulates him. He thanks his friend while noticing that the singer who preceded him is sitting at the bar. Feeling confident from his performance, the young man decides to approach the singer who very strongly impressed him.

-Great set man!
The singer stares coldly.
-…Uh, really great! Best I’ve seen of yours probably. I was sweating bullets that I had to follow you.
The singer stands and leaves his seat, clearly insulted.
The young man returns to his friend, confused by the exchange.
-Well he was pissy.
-Yeah, I’m surprised you even approached him.
-Why’s that?
-Your new apartment. He thought he was going to get it. My roommate put a word in for him before I put a word in for you.
-You didn’t tell me that.
-I didn’t? Well that explains why you moved in for the kill like that. I would’ve expected you to just step out of the away and avoid the whole conflict.
The young man watches the singer leave the bar.


The young man returns to his modest apartment. He collapses onto a small mattress, still holding his guitar case. Late in the night, he is startled awake by a movement at the door. He sits upright and sees a small envelope slide under the door. He rises to inspect it. The envelope is unmarked, holding a single blank cd. He places the cd into his stereo and listens. He recognizes the nasally voice as that of the singer. The song asks a question: “Why Did You Steal My Home From Me?” The young man listens with a sunken heart.


The young man wakes late the following day. He remembers that his friend is performing at the same bar, and is expecting to meet him there. He decides to travel there on foot, needing time with his thoughts. Arriving at the bar early, he is surprised to find a show is already underway. He recognizes the song immediately, and the voice as that of the singer he wronged. He locates his friend in the crowd, who is cheering the singer on.

-What the hell is going on?
-He just showed up with his guitar! It's fantastic!
-What’s fantastic? He’s singing a song about how much he hates me!
-No man, this isn’t hate. This is war. Rap war.
-I don’t know what that means.
-He couldn’t be any clearer! He’s declared a rap war on you, and if you don’t want to meet an early end you’ve got to step up and fight back!
-Why is this happening? It was just a crappy apartment!
-He’s a sensitive man. And clever! Just like his music. Boy, I would not want to have that wave of self-deprecating irony turned on me!

The singer finishes the song and leaves the stage, smiling smugly at the young man.

-I’ve gotta do something, the young man says walking towards the stage. He ascends and speaks into the microphone.
-Does anyone have a guitar I can borrow?
Another young man hands him a large guitar, the proportions are comical.
-It’s embarrassing to have to do this in public, but I wrote a song last night and I think it’s a fitting response to the one you just heard.

He begins the song, which is a sweet apology to the singer, explaining the circumstances of their misunderstanding. The crowd applauds the strange show of emotion. The young man looks to the singer who smiles and nods toward him. The young man nods back, though he’s unsure whether the singer’s smile is masking friendliness or ire.

The young man’s friend approaches him.
-What was that?
-What do you mean? I just ended the fight.
-You still don’t get it. This isn’t a fight, it is a R-A-P W-A-R. You just acknowledged him through a song, and now it’s his duty to come back at you with a song that’s twice as fierce. And you came soft! If you keep coming at him with songs like that this is never going to end.

But before the young man has time to process this information, his attention is brought back to the stage where the singer has proceeded into song once more. His nasal and under confident voice delivers a new song entitled “Sorry Isn’t Good Enough”. His lyrical swipes are twice as scathing.